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August 24, 2018

Trichotillomania (trick-o-till-o-may-nee-uh) or “trich”, also known as hair-pulling disorder, is characterized by the repetitive pulling-out of one's hair. Trichotillomania is one of a group of behaviours known as body-focused repetitive behaviours (BFRBs) or impulse-control disorders (ICDs) in which individuals pull out their hair, pick their skin (dermatillomania or excoriation disorder), or bite nails (onychophagia), resulting in severe damage to the body. Research indicates that about 2 or 4 in 100 people experience trichotillomania in their lifetime.

I used to pull out my hair for as long as I can remember. My first memory of my hair pulling was back in the fifth grade when I first started suffering from intrusive thoughts and anxiety. I ended up pulling out the hair from the apex of my head and left a bald patch there. I couldn’t go to school because I didn’t want anybody to see me like that. I couldn’t tell my parents what I had done because I was so ashamed of it....

December 11, 2017

Losing a parent is never easy.  It is perhaps one of the most heart breaking feelings in the world. But watching your parent slip away right before you is even worse, it’s a feeling that can never be penned down to paper. It’s a feeling beyond compare, one that leaves you helpless and bare.

I dream of my dad often, we exchange hugs and kisses and I tell him that I love him and he assures me that he knows. This Christmas I’m going to miss decorating the house with him using bells and bows.

16th December 2016 was the day that changed my life. For better or for worse only the future will tell, for when you lose your dad at 21, nothing ever seems well. He’s been gone for some time now and I know I’ll never see him again. But as difficult as it maybe for me to come to terms with reality losing my dad has taught me lessons that I will adhere to for a lifetime to come.

It taught me that death is inevitable. You can do everything within your power to save the one you love but you cannot stop...

July 8, 2017

Charvi Jain is not just a therapist. She has been my saviour and now is my life line and anchor, keeping me from wandering across that thin line into insanity. I discovered my mind plays tricks on me a few years ago plunging me into the depths of darkness and lifting me into dizzying euphoric highs. It all came to a head when stresses at work and at home collided and my mind caved in leading to my first episode. The psychosis that I experienced, I can't bring myself to remember, let alone describe in any detail. It's a painful nightmare, that I lock away as it fills me with terror and shame. Am grateful to have family and friends who stood with me and saw me through to the other side despite my absurd conduct.

To temper down the episode, I was immediately carted off to see a psychiatrist who put me on pills, sedatives and mood suppressants that numbed my mind and led me to sleep through days on end. Another tragedy followed and I found myself gaining weight rapidly, binge eating. I knew...

June 25, 2017

Over these passing years I had always been looking for happiness and ecstasy but I never found it, until I realised that what I was looking for, actually lay within me.
 

Over the last few years, I had turned into a coward person, scared of possibly everything that exists. A person who is scared of failures even before trying. A person who looks into the half filled glass and stares at the empty portion only. I had grown up to be a person who always looks for the negatives. I had my reasons too. I was tired of living on that brink of hope that someday this constant feeling of vulnerability would go. But, life started gifting me more of it.

I lost out on friendships, I broke up with people I loved, I left things that I enjoyed doing, I gave up on life. I didn't know what to do next. Even if I tried doing something good, my mind kept asking me.."Why do you have to do anything at all? What's the point? Everything is useless at the end of the day." I lost that energy within me. I just...

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